Everything is Awful

Big news! We’re leaving Small Town! I mean, if you’re reading this, then we’re either close friends or family and you knew that because who else reads this blog? Anyhow. Professor Furious has a new job and so we are trying to sell our house, and find a new house. Did I mention we are trying to find a new house from half-way across the country, with cats, and we’re going to rent because I doubt we could get another mortgage right now, but also because we have no idea if we are going to be in New Slightly Larger Town for a year or a decade. Also, Slightly Larger Town has a housing shortage. HAhahahahahahaha…. I want to burn everything to the ground.

Don’t get me wrong, I am SUPER excited about leaving Small Town. In retrospect, it was a bad decision to come here, and frankly I wouldn’t recommend it to anyone. But oh well, this is real life and not a video game where we could go back to our last save point and try again. No matter how many times I wish for it. But we’re moving to a bigger place that is, in turn, the suburb of a much bigger place. Y’all, I’m going from overpriced produce rotting on the shelves at our teeny “grocery” store to Whole Foods and Trader Joes. I mean, the Whole Foods stuff won’t be a lot cheaper, but at least I won’t have to throw out half a container of grape tomatoes because they’re moldy. Haha kidding. I just don’t bother buying fresh fruit and veggies.

We’ve lost out on multiple places, and I’m fairly certain it’s because we’re not there in person to fill stuff out and be like “Look at how we are a nice, young family of professionals.” (Maybe ignore my hair and his earrings…) Our already limited choices are  more limited because I love our cats and won’t give them up. But seriously, that would only add like… two houses that we can’t really afford anyway to our list, so I really can’t even blame the cats.

So I’ve turned to making graphics to work through my frustrations. I’m thinking of attaching this one to our next rental application. Think it will help my case? renting sucks

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